Things I Don't Want to Forget: Nice Legs

Just some random stories from the newsroom...part one.

One day, while I was floor directing for the noon show (before I became a producer), our interview guest was a transvestite. I had never seen one up close and personal; in fact the only others I'd ever seen had been hanging out on the darkly lit dance floor of the Neon Cactus (and in the ladies' bathroom of the Neon Cactus...how does that work, by the way?). But I'd never talked to one before.

He was physically, medically a guy. He hadn't had any operations, and he didn't even speak in a feminine voice; actually he had a very nice baritone voice. But he preferred to be called "she" and went by a girl's first name.

The whole point of this interview was to promote a forum that night for transsexual issues, and this guy--excuse me, girl--was a panelist. So of course, all of us were trying to act very open-minded and 21st-century about it all, not to be pegged as one of those biggots against which this guy--girl!--was constantly defending himself. Herself. And her way of life.

Well, it was my job to explain to her where to sit and how to put on the lapel mic. She was wearing a powder-blue skirt suit, the jacket of which had blue sequin trim on the collar and lapels. She was also wearing black stilleto heels.

And way too much perfume.

She had peroxide-blonde hair (obviously not her natural color), blue eyeshadow (circa 1984) and about as much blush as we used to wear in the Purduettes. And lipstick.

Our senior-most anchorman did a smash-up job at the interview, and ventured to ask some rather personal questions, which she seemed to be comfortable answering. She talked about discrimination, and how she'd been called a faggot (at which our director said, "I don't think we can say that on the air"). And at one point, among the very un-21st-century comments of the guys back in the control room who didn't have to worry about being open-minded because they were one room away, the producer said, "Well, I have to hand it to her...she does have nice legs."

It was very educational, to say the least, but when she finished the interview and walked off the set, she left behind, along with that strong scent of whatever perfume she was wearing, even more questions than we'd had when she had arrived.

One of the anchor women and I discussed that we had many more questions to ask this person, although we probably would've been way too embarrassed to ask them.

Here are the questions I would ask in my (imaginary, editorial, and totally inappropriate) interview.

1. You said you relate more with female qualities and behavior than male qualities and behavior. So why don't you feel more inclined to talk like a woman?

2. Why do you wear so much makeup and perfume? Are you trying to compensate for your masculine features?

3. Normally a woman of this decade would be considered cheap, flashy, or out-of-date if she wore her makeup like you wear yours. Do you think you look classy and professional as a woman? Who or what motivated you to do your makeup like that?

4. Most women would be considered cheap, flashy, or out of date in a sequined suit like that. Do you feel like you'll be taken seriously as a woman by wearing this outfit?

5. You are dating a woman (she was). So are you gay because you consider yourself a woman and are attracted to a woman, bisexual, or straight but you just like to dress like a woman?

6. More interestingly, is your partner gay because she's attracted to someone who passes himself off as a woman, or is she straight and attracted to a man who just likes to dress as a woman but still has all the male working parts? Or is she bisexual?

7. Would you and your partner be legally allowed to be married since you are technically a man and a woman?


8. When I helped you put on your mic for the interview, I accidently brushed your chest. You said you have had no operations, so I'd like to know, what are your boobs made out of? How did you decide what size you wanted them to be?

9. Do you ever read fashion magazines? Where do you turn for fashion inspiration and information?

10. Is that your real hair? Why did you decide to go with blonde? Is it because you feel that blonde is the ultimate in femininity?

11. Isn't it interesting how easy it is for me to be catty and critical of your looks? I guess in that sense I think of you as a woman. Do you find this true with other women?

I'm not trying to be mean or narrow-minded by asking these quesions. They are just questions generated by meeting her. And they're questions I'll probably never get answered.

The last thing I'll say about this experience is that, as soon as we went off the air for the afternoon, the phones started ringing off the hook. People could not believe we'd have someone like that on the news! Someone said he lost his appetite while he was eating lunch and watching our show on his TV.

All I can say is, boy am I lucky I saw it live!

That is one thing I don't want to forget.