a lot of crazy

Oh my gosh...I just read this blog post by a friend of mine and it was saying a lot of stuff that I totally relate to right now. He was saying that he felt like everyone he knew was getting engaged or married, and did he miss the boat, and how hard it is to have faith that God will take care of it.

Well, I started to reply on his blog with a comment, and it turned into a really LONG comment, and then I realized I was letting out a lot of crazy, so I decided that all this crazy belonged on my blog, not his! So here it is...

There are all these girls I know from the Purduettes who have gotten engaged this year; and some of them are seniors this year...and I remember being a freshman and thinking "I'll probably be engaged by the time I'm getting ready to graduate" and although I don't really have any regrets about how I spent my time in college, I kind of have that feeling of "point of no return" where it's like, well I can't meet someone at school anymore because I'm not AT school; I'm not IN this incubator full of people my age. It might be weird to date someone I work with, and anyway it's not like there are a bunch of single people my age walking around the station. (Actually, pretty much everyone else my age is married or engaged anyway...which just reinforces that feeling of "did I miss something here?")

And it's not like I'm the type of person to go to a bar to meet people...I kind of feel like I want to be friends with someone first so I know what I'm getting into. But then, is that because I am hoping whatever relationship I start to turn into a marriage eventually? Should I think about it that way, or just cool it and try not to look that far forward? And it IS hard to have faith that things will work out...I'm sure God is like, "Lisa, you are screwing this up on your own...just let me handle it." But I think the great part is that He still lets us make these decisions, KNOWING that we're going to make the wrong ones sometimes. It just makes me wonder where everything is headed...I guess I'm excited for whatever lies in store for me. One of my best girls and I used to say all the time that if the relationships we were in weren't meant to be, whatever God has planned for us will be even better...so things can only get better however you look at it! So that makes me optimistic.

An elderly guy who works at the station asks me every couple of weeks if I've gotten a new boyfriend yet. And I always say no. And then he always says, "Well, that's not something you can just go to Walmart and pick off of a shelf, is it?" No, it's not. And then he always says, "But it is one of those things you find when you're not looking for it." Which is so true. I hate pursuing relationships. I love kind of...just discovering them. Or being a little surprised by a turn of events that leads to something I never would've guessed possible.

But it would be nice if I stumbled into something here in the next couple of years...I mean I WOULD like to have kids before I'm 40!

More crazy on the way. Until then!
Lis