rants of a small-time news producer, part 2

(The Happy Ending)

So yesterday I was REALLY upset (see the previous post). And after 24 hours, I was still upset, but I had calmed down a little and I prayed about it and I wasn't sure what to do; should I confront the people who had upset me, or just suck it up because this is just part of being in this business? Was I being too sensitive, or did I have a valid reason to call them out on their behavior?

After the show this morning, I was talking to one of my anchors, and finally expressed my frusteration about feeling like I had to stick up for myself all the time back in the control room. He had heard some of the comments from the production guys yesterday and thought it was really wrong of them to say I was being biased about what I put in the show, because even joking about that is a big no-no in this business. I found out that he had stuck up for me out on the floor, which made me feel a lot better, and after having a good conversation with him, I felt much better about the whole situation--it was just good to know that someone else got where I was coming from and thought my feelings were justified. So he told me that I should talk to them and tell them that it upset me and everything.

Yikes.

OK, I am good at arguing for the sake of argument, but I am REALLY bad at confronting people about stuff like this. But I took a big gulp and went back to the production office to talk to the guys.

And, like a big dork, I immediately burst into tears the moment I started explaining why I was upset. I hate that I'm a crier, because it makes people feel really bad and really uncomfortable, and confrontation is uncomfortable enough without me being in tears. But I trucked on through and explained that I was really upset by their comments and that I considered them friends, which is why I cared so much about getting mutual respect from them. And they said they didn't realize it upset me that much and that they don't really think I'm biased about my job and that I'm the best producer they've ever had and that they were jerks and were just shooting their mouths off and that I shouldn't take them seriously, but that they would try harder to be more considerate of how their comments affected me. They gave me hugs and we were friends again, and hopefully they're not going to feel weird around me tomorrow!

So needless to say, I feel a lot better about things, and I want to thank Kelsey for the prayers because I think talking to my anchor was a little nudge from God to not chicken out of sticking up for myself.

And tomorrow is Friday! And a payday! And my internet is working again!

Lots of reasons to be happy. The end. :)