An 88-year-old Oregon woman's home was invaded by a 46-year-old naked man yesterday.
The man followed the woman around her house and then shoved her face-first into a chair.
Acting in self-defense, the woman reached back and grabbed his boy parts. That scared him out of the house, where police nearby tracked him down.
And when police identified him, guess what his last name was?
Dick.
I promise that's a true story.
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