first impressions (bachelor week 1)

OK, I'll try not to go on too long about this, but WOW, what a great season premiere! I actually had to take notes!

The Girls

Jillian
I like her. She seems cute and genuine, and her dress was gorgeous! She has invented a personality test based on hot dog condiments, which she used on Jason. She found out that he's a "mustard guy," which means he's the kind of guy you want to settle down with. I'll have to test out this theory in the future.
I was glad she got a rose.

Stacia
I liked her too. She is a cute, single mom but I don't think she really got to talk to Jason a whole lot, so we didn't learn much about her.
I was sad she didn't get a rose.

Dominique
Oh my goodness, so adorable! She looks like my friend Caitlin C. (aka real-life Disney Princess) and has the personality of a D.P. as well. And when she talks, it's like a mix of Sarah Palin and Kirsten Dunst's character in Drop Dead Gorgeous.
She didn't get a rose, which is too bad because she would've made for some funny TV.

Nikki
OK, I got it wrong...Stephanie is not the Pageant Patty; NIKKI is! They went to her house and shot b-roll of her cleaning house in her "Miss Illinois" sash and letting her niece wear her crown. In last night's episode, she scored well in evening gown and interview, garnering her the first impression rose.
We'll see.

Jackie
She's kind of the sad girl of the bunch; apparently she's been engaged, broken it off, married, divorced, and now she's a wedding planner.
She didn't get a rose and was actually really mad about it. But what's that they say? "Always the wedding planner, never the bride?" No, that's not it...

Stephanie
Not Pageant Patty but a smidge Stepford-ish. That being said, I love her. She is a really sweet lady and her older age gives her an advantage among the other girls, as she's mature and truly sweet about meeting people, not old and bitter. But we'll get to Megan in a bit.
She got a rose, yayyyy!!!

Naomi
She looks like Eva Mendes' cousin who also gets hired to do Eva's stand-in stuff in movies. A little rough around the edges, but should be entertaining.
She got a rose.

Megan
Oh lord. I'm scared of her. She seems to play the Mom Card a LOT. She does it to get closer to Jason, to bond with the few other single moms in the crowd, and to belittle her cuter, younger, friendlier competition. She got a rose "courtesy of the other women" and we will talk about that soon. She has a potty mouth. Ty is going to learn LOTS of new things from her!

Lisa (a.k.a. Suri)
I like to call her Suri, because I think she looks, sounds, and so far acts like Suri from Whatever Hollywood (she's the one all the way on the right and sometimes she writes me emails! She's the coolest!) So far, Lisa/Suri is cool too, which is good because I don't want someone with my name turning out to be a spazz.
She got a rose. (Yesssss!)

Lauren
It's Lauren's birthday. She makes Jason guess how old she is while almost bouncing out of her dress. Then Jason brings her a birthday cake, but she thinks it's going ot be the first impression rose, so she tells the camera, "I'm obviously getting the rose, duh!" It would've been a pretty embarrassing birthday for Lauren, but at the end of the night...
She did get a rose.

Melissa
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Awww! She is so stinkin cute.
Yay, she got a rose!

Sharon
She quit her job to be on the show. So far, it's paid off.
She got a rose.

Natalie
She looks like she's gonna be one of those girls who looks like she's thinking, "I'm hotter than you so you know I'm going to be better than you at life" but she was so nervous when she met Jason that it was endearing! And like me, she doesn't have TV.
She got a rose. Yay!

Treasure
Not the free spirit I thought she was -- at least I don't think so, because we didn't learn anything about her except that "Treasure" is not her stage name. I think it would've been funny if she'd have followed up with, "Actually, my stage name is Pat." Or you know, something really boring.
Treasure did not get a rose.

Raquel
Cue the Latin music. Literally, every time she walked into the room, spoke, walked out of the room, or was mentioned anywhere around the room, they started playing her theme music.
She got a rose.

Molly
A straight-shooting Midwesterner. I like her so far.
She got a rose.

Erica
Ehhh...let's just say formal occasions are not her strongest suit.
But she did get a rose.

Nicole (also wanting to be called Nikki)
Although not the nut job I was afraid she'd be, she did wear an orange dress (and black shoes...what?!) because orange is Ty's favorite color. But Ty wasn't there and he certainly wasn't handing out roses, so...
She didn't get a rose. Sigh...so long, Janice.

Renee
She looked and sounded about 10 years younger than she was, but she (not Treasure) turned out to be the free spirit, saying her vision board had said she was meant to be with Jason. And the thing about vision boards is, everything you put on it comes true.
Except for the one time when she went on The Bachelor and didn't get a rose.

Emily
She looks as scary on TV as she does in her picture. She is like Scary Barbie (which is what my sisters and I called Space Barbie because she looked scary).
She did not get a rose, so it's back to Seattle...Jason's hometown. Yup.

Julie
Cute, teaches first grade. That's about all we got out of that.
No rose.

Ann
Meehhhh...who?
No rose.

Shannon
ABC has already gotten us to think of her as The Stalker. In the opening sequence, she's running on a treadmill and says, "I'm coming for you, Jason!" Whaaaat.
Then there's the infamous MyStalk conversation. But I think Jason was won over when she got out of the limo with her fake hillbilly teeth in, and it didn't matter that she was a stalker because she was a funny stalker.
And she got a stalker. I mean, a rose.

Shelby
She reminded me of a news anchor; she has the perfect hair and face for it, and she seemed to be conducting interviews with everyone.
She didn't get a rose. But I think the Early Show should hire her to replace Julie Chen.

Kari
Good thing she wrote and read aloud a poem for Jason, because that's all I remembered about her.
She got a rose.

The Twist
They borrowed a wooden box off of the set of Lost and told the girls they had to vote on a girl they thought should leave the house. I wonder if they just thought the girls just weren't being catty enough and some production assistant said, "I know, let's go Survivor on these biotches!" Anyway, the award for Biggest Bitch went to Megan (surprise surprise). But then the girls found out she was actually winning a rose, not a trip back home. That announcement was followed by Megan calling the rest of the girls @#$**&##@s (I don't even know what she called them, they had to bleep and fuzz so much of it out) and then went up for a super-classy rose awarding...
"Megan, will you please accept this rose?"
"Yes, I'd be happy to!" (Stink eye to the rest of the gals.)

That, along with the rest of the bleeps and fuzzies used to cover whatever was coming out of Megan's mouth the rest of the time, was enough to make her a shoo-in for Ty's new mom, no doubt.

OK, that's it for week one. But the sneak peek into the rest of the season was insane, because guess who's coming back...

DEANNA!!!

That's right, just like Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, and Hillary Clinton, SHE IS BACK. You just can't keep a good girl down. Or...something like that. Yes, Deanna comes back, apparently to ask for a second chance, and the girls. Are. Mad!!!

I love reality TV! :)

Remember, check out Lincee (linked on the right), or if you don't like reading recaps, watch these girls (they are hilarious!)



Enjoy! And please tell me your thoughts on the season premiere!