change of scenery?

Lately I feel like if my life were a color, it would be grey. I'm just kinda bored. But whose fault is that?

All this contract/future talk has me thinking about where I'll be going and what I'll be doing a year from now (and both of those are a big "I don't know"), and I think that thinking about all the potential for new places and things and people has me a little bored with my life right now. I think I'm also a little depressed because Tommy and Mike will both be gone soon, and Sara will be gone too in a few months, and that bums me out.

Also, I'm going through one of those funks at work where I'm like, "Uggggh I just don't feel like doing this!" All we had this morning was swine flu stories. That's it. And I was like, "There are other things going on in the world, right? Surely we can find something else to talk about." Nope. All swine flu. And especially since it hit Indiana yesterday, it's a big deal right now. But come on, a whole show about swine flu?! Yuck.

I've got lots of things to be excited about -- "So You Think You Can Dance" starts up soon, which will be a new experience for me, and Jillian will star in "The Bachelorette" soon as well! I have one more car payment to make and I'll be officially done, which means puppy time, and I'm currently putting out feelers for pug breeders (so if you know anyone, let me know!). And I just got time off approved for my SECOND vacation of the year (holler!), which will include my cousin's wedding and a week at Mom and Dad's newly-built cabin up at the lake! That's not till August, but still.

And all my adorable little High School Musical friends will be home for the summer soon, which (I hope) will mean more trips to Culvers for ice cream, afternoons by the pool, and weekends in Monticello! Summer!

So what's not to be excited about, right? I just need to get myself pumped up for all the fun stuff coming my way and stop feeling like my life is so boring.

Oh, final note -- and girls, back me up if you get this too -- the last two days I've had these lovely dreams involving beautiful beaches or lakes and dreamy dudes, which NEVER happens. I always have the weirdo dreams, not the sweet ones. But of course, I'm having these super-sweet dreams and then I wake up before I want to. Then I can't go back to sleep and back to my dream! But when I have a sucky dream, I either can't wake up, or I do shake myself out of it, and then fall back asleep only to enter Crazy Town all over again. So not fair!

Oh well. I'm gonna go to bed now and attempt a sweet dream that doesn't involve me waking up before I absolutely have to.

Happy daydreams! :)

thankful friday

I am thankful...

1. for Fridays, which always include new episodes of "The Office" and "30 Rock," and the thought that I don't have to go anywhere or do anything tomorrow, and that I can sleep whenever I want to in the next 48 hours.

2. for paychecks, especially when they include overtime pay that will fund retail therapy to relieve the stress of earning said overtime pay.

3. for things going well at work, which was sweet payoff for the past couple of weeks of things NOT going well at work.

4. for finding out that a coworker you were stressing out about it just stressed out for a lot of the same reasons, and for working together to accomplish a similar goal.

5. for Kelsey, who constantly teaches me lessons in faith, love, and friendship.

6. for Sara, who is hands-down just one of the coolest people I'll ever meet.

7. for Tommy, who geeks out over Dorm Life with me and is always great to talk to.

8. for Curtis who, I am convinced, makes the world a better place every day just by being in it but not of it.

9. for Troy and Caitlin for being a beautiful example of love and friendship to everyone they know.

10. for Joey, for helping me recognize and enjoy the great things that go with growing up!

11. for all of my other blog buddies, who I have never met but who impact my everyday life with their comments, posts, humor, and amazing stories!

12. for pizza and beer, which I'm going to enjoy tonight in the comfort of my little apartment.

13. for my sisters, who brighten my day whether I talk to them for 45 seconds or 45 minutes, and for how close we have been all our lives.

14. for my mom, who is the most supportive, loving, giving person I will probably ever meet. And she's also a great listener, even when I talk and talk and talk...

15. for my dad who, I am finding, understands me better than I ever thought was possible, and who I find myself becoming more like every day.

16. for having a job that I love, even when things are not going well, and especially in a recession.

17. for the fact that I got to see a friend today that used to work with me in the mornings, but now he works during the day and we hardly ever see each other, and for being told that he misses me too!

18. for being healthy.

19. for vacation time that I'll get to spend in Florida with my sister in her new house!

20. for feeling blessed in every way.

Was it Courtney's fault?

Tommy, I am reading your blog. Are you reading mine?

Tommy introduced me to this web series called "Dorm Life." And we are both so obsessed that we watch the new episodes like as soon as they are posted (after midnight Monday morning) and then sometimes we call each other and discuss, which I love.

This week's episode was super-crazy. One story line has been following Mike, who came to college with the typical high-school girlfriend back home. But like any other college kid, he starts forming friendships at school (in this case on his dorm floor) and grows apart from his hometown sweetheart. One of these new friends is Brittany, who is cool, pretty, and smart. She and Mike obviously have one of those underlying connections, so when Mike inevitably breaks up with his gf, all of us dedicated fans are expecting Mike to develop an interest in Brittany.

And Dorm Life has been dragging us along the last few episodes without moving that story forward. This week, though, everything seemed to happen. DannyB, the sheltered and reserved momma's boy, finally got the number of the "mystery hot girl" who he's been running into in the elevator all semester. To celebrate, he decides to drink for the first time. And of course, everyone else decides to drink too. So freshmen + alcohol + no RA present = out of control party with kids who don't know their limits. And at one point, a schwasted Mike asks Courtney, Brittany's slutty-but-endearing roommate, where Brittany is. And we all think, "Yes! It's going to happen!" But then Courtney, also schwasted, says she doesn't know and Mike tells her about two other floormates who have been hooking up.

"People are hooking up? Ok!" says Courtney, and grabs Mike's drunk face and kisses him, then gets up and says, "You're coming to my room!"

Mike takes a beat and shrugs, "Ok." And follows her.

What?!!!

Then we see Courtney doing one of those classic things all of us hated in the dorms--kicking out the roommate for alone time with another person. But Britney, who is drunk (everyone's drunk, ok?), is just like, you got it. IF ONLY SHE KNEW WHO WAS BEHIND THAT DOOR WITH COURTNEY!!!

Cut to the next morning, when Brittany knocks on her door to be let back into her room. And then Mike opens the door. And they both realize what happened. And Mike exits down the hallway.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

OK, so Tommy and I talk about this, and he's so mad at Courtney. But I'm mad at Mike too! And Tommy, in his blog, brings up an interesting point--is there a double-standard that some people subconsciously adhere to that places blame on the girl, in this case Courtney, for situations like this?

I can see how it would be easier to blame Courtney. We already know from watching previous episodes that Courtney is not to be admired for her moral code, so it's easier not to like her. Also, she is Brittany's roommate and lifelong friend, so she should have some sense of loyalty to Brittany. And, she initiated the hook-up, or in toddler mentality, "she started it."

BUT...did Courtney have any idea Brittany had any interest in Mike? To our knowledge as viewers, Brittany has never admitted to liking him.

Here's why I give Mike equal blame for ruining what Tommy has dubbed "the Perfect Plan" (and I like it so I'm going to use that from here on out): Mike DOES seem to have a more admirable moral code than Courtney, so I expect better behavior out of him than what he displayed. Also, Mike wasn't dragged to Courtney's room; he agreed and followed of his own accord. And, he was asking about Brittany, so she was obviously on his mind. But curiously, he was very willing to follow Courtney into her room, so he was probably doing something I call "thinking with his boy-parts" and that's something that really frusterates me about guys.

Also, I have a theory that Mike's primary goal was revenge on Emily, his ex-gf from back home; earlier in the episode he yelled at her (drunk) on the phone and then threw his phone into the wall and broke it. Not too long after that, he was asking for Brittany. His possible thought process: I want to move on. I want to move on in a way that will make Emily mad. I like Brittany. Where is she? Oh, this girl is hot and she wants to make out. I want to make out to get back at Emily. Ok."

I want to be clear--I don't place all the blame on Mike. But I do think he is equally to blame. And I will say that even if he had found Brittany, whatever he had wanted to do with her would have been for the wrong reasons and not what Brittany deserved, even if she had been ok with it at the moment (drunk). Basically, it wasn't time for them to get together, for whatever the reason, because they were too drunk.

I can see why it's easy in this situation to be mad at the girl, but I don't understand why it's so easy to let the guy off the hook. Just because he's a "good" guy and he made a mistake, whereas she's a girl who initiated things and is therefore a shameless temptress?

I think that's where we get this double-standard. A guy hits on a girl and it's like, "that girl was so stupid to fall for that." But a girl hits on a guy and it's like, "well she's hot and he's a guy; he can't help it."

YES HE CAN! Guys were given the capacity for self-control just like girls were. I don't know why we expect it to be easier for girls to turn down someone's advances. Guys may think with their boy-parts, but they still have brains, and there's never an excuse for defaulting to the organ driven solely by hormones and inborn instinct.

I think we have this mentality that guys would never turn down sex, and so we would never expect them to. I know that's not true for every guy, but in my experience, the way most guys talk, I would say I find it hard to believe that many of them would be capable victims of date-rape. If we applied that mentality to a girl, however, she'd be a slut.

I will never forget this episode of "Family Matters" where brother and sister Eddie and Laura are talking about sex. And Eddie is worried about his younger sister Laura having sex because "it's ok for guys, but it's not ok for girls." And then Laura gives him this look that clearly says what we're all thinking: if it's ok for guys to have sex but not for girls, then who are the guys having sex with?

Ok, I think that's all I have to say about that. Except one more thing--boys, don't think with your boy-parts, ok? Thanks.