oh give me a home where the palm trees are grown...

You're welcome, Sara.

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. Here is a post about the first of several things that have been keeping me busy:

vacation!!!



I went to visit my older sis in Tampa. It was awesome! I had tons of fun on the plane ride there (of course). Then, when I got to Michelle's house, I almost died.

No, really.

I hadn't slept in like 24 hours, so I was pretty tired. Michelle made dinner and I took a nap, and then she woke me up to eat. Well, I was still pretty out of it, and I took a HUGE bite of steak that had a large piece of gristle (is that how you spell that?). I half-swallowed the piece of gristle when it got stuck; I couldn't swallow it and I couldn't spit it out. I tried to cough, but I couldn't.

Michelle noticed something was up and said, "Are you ok?" and started smacking me HARD on the back. Now, I don't know when the last time was that she updated her lifeguard/CPR license, but the last time I took that course, I was told smacking the person's back does NOT help...and they're right. I turned to her to try to tell her that, and that's when I realized I couldn't talk and I couldn't breathe. All that lifeguard training came back to me, and here is the thought that went through my head at this point: "Can't talk, can't breathe = choking! Omigod, I'm choking for realsies! Universal choking sign!" I then made the universal choking sign and Michelle's training came back to her too, and she did a few textbook Heimlich maneuvers, during which I kept thinking, "Oh my gosh, what if I throw up? I don't want to throw up all over her new furniture and her new carpet! It doesn't matter, that piece of meat has to come out!"

And then it did. Not like in the movies, where it goes flying across the room and breaks a window, or lands in your great-aunt's bowl of oatmeal. It just...came out. Like I'd just spit it out of my mouth. Am I grossing you out? Sorry. But I was just relieved it landed on the plate and that it was still in its original form of solid meat.

I stared at the chunk of steak and then noticed Michelle was still Heimliching. "Stop doing that," I said. "It's out."

"Oh, sorry," she said. Then we both started doing that releived laugh-cry-laugh reaction and I thanked her for saving my life. It was crazy! The best part was that nobody panicked and the whole thing just seemed really funny to me the whole time! But I know I was actually pretty lucky.

OK, the rest of vacation was pretty normal. We hit the beach on Friday and I got a satisfactory tan, and then on Saturday we got up early and drove to Orlando to visit Universal Studios. Now, this is the first time I've been to ANY of the parks down there, and I was as giddy as a 9-year-old. I took tons of pictures. You can see more of them here.

One of the most eventful parts of the day was when we got stuck in the middle of a ride. It was the E.T. Adventure, which is a dark ride where you sit on bicycles through the woods and then fly over the town and into space. It started out really cool; the forest looked totally real, the theme music was playing, and there were flashlights following us and police cars popping out of the trees, just like in the movie! Then this robotronic mannequin cop pops out of the bushes and yelled at us to "halt!" and we did. For like a long time. Finally, we were all like, "Uh...is this supposed to happen?" Then the music shut off and a voice told us there were technical difficulties and that the ride would start again very soon. Meanwhile, the manne-cop was staring at us and frankly, kinda freaking me out. Everyone on our little group of bikes sort of sat awkwardly in the silence for a minute.

"Maybe we should just pedal harder," I said finally. Everyone laughed, and that broke the ice. Someone started tweeting from her phone that she was stuck on the ride, and we all took turns joking about the situation. Then as the lights slowly started coming up, we looked around. It was very disillusioning; the trees didn't have tops and we could see the ceiling. Then a maintenance dude came up to our car and started fussing with wires. It turns out WE were the problem!

Well, they finally got the ride going again...sort of. We kept jolting to stops throughout the forest, and the maintenance guy behind us had to keep doing something to get us going.

"Is he gonna have to push us?" I asked Michelle. Then finally, we were launched out of the forest and over the town, which was tiny-tiny and all lit up below us. It was actually pretty cool...only we could totally see the maintenance guy walking on a catwalk right next to us. Sigh. When we finished the ride, a girl gave us free express passes, which Michelle and I used to skip the line for the Simpson's ride, which ended up being totally worth getting stuck on E.T. for!

OK, more things about life in later posts. But I think this will do for now!

Until later!

eeeeeeagle!!!

I am officially a week away from vacation!!! I can't even believe it. This time next week I'll be in sunny Florida at my older sis's new house! My new swimsuit came in the mail, I've got my packing list made, I have a hair appointment this Friday, I got an awesome new carry-on bag that I have been reallllllly good about not using until the trip, and I've barely had time to read the Vanity Fair I picked up like...what, a month ago?...so I won't even need to buy any new magazines! Who am I kidding; yes I will. I always buy new magazines for any trip that includes a plane ride and a beach. It's just kind of one of those things I have to do to celebrate the occassion.

And, by the way, I love flying. Everything about it! I know many people (my dad included) do not get the same kick out of flying that I do. So let me describe it to you from my perspective.

First, there's the thrill of racing through the airport to make your flight. Or, if you DO have lots of time, you get to take in all the fun things that an airport has, like moving sidewalks, stores that sell pillows, and crazy folks.

Then you get to sit and wait (cue magazine) for your flight to board. Now, even if your flight decides to run late, this is still fun because it gives you a chance to scope out (over your magazine) all the people you will be sharing a plane with, and try to figure out who they are and why they're going wherever they're going.

Next and at long last comes the excitement of boarding the plane, then watching (and yes, I do watch as a form of entertainment) the flight attendants do their little show about emergency procedures. And I always make up stories about the flight attendants and what they're thinking (wouldn't that be a great reality show? Oh, the drama!). Sometimes I narrate for them in my head. Like, I imagine Chelsea the perky red-head is secretly in love with Luke, the blond guy, but he's dating Renee the long fingernails girl who is clearly so over this job and hates everyone on the plane except for her blond BF...no wait, she actually hates him too because she's planned to elope with the co-pilot as soon as we land. Then there's Grumpy Drink Cart Lady (that's her name) who gets special satisfaction of catching Mile High Club inductees in the act, and finally the tall, flamboyant Roger, who knows he rocks the emergency procedure demonstration like nobody's business and is def. gonna get that promotion next week.

Then there's -- dun dah dah dun -- TAKING OFF! Always a major highlight; I don't get scared, I don't go to sleep, I don't read. I just look out the window and enjoy the miracle of flight. I also love flying on a sunny day because then I get to wear sunglasses, which makes me feel supercool.

Now, my ears do pop terribly on airplanes. Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode from the pressure. And that part is not fun. I always wonder for a few minutes if the whole head exploding thing is physically possible. Then I do the thing where I plug my nose and blow, then I stuff six pieces of Orbit in my mouth and chew like an angry goat, and if that doesn't work, I just get the magazine back out and try to focus very hard on the comeback of the cork wedge slingback. Or if it gets too bad, I may ask Grumpy Drink Cart Lady to bring me an aspirin for my headache, or flag down Roger to ask him what he thinks about the "Who Wore It Better" page of my magazine. At any rate, the ear-popping problems will NOT ruin the flight.

Now, I love sitting by the window, because I love looking at what's below us, especially when it's nothing but clouds and you can see the plane's shadow. I just think that's unreal. And then the big finish...the landing! To me, this is just as exciting and suspenseful as watching an Olympic gymnast finish her balance beam routine. Will she stick the landing? I always sort of judge the landing and give it a score.

Upon landing, here is what you do, you savvy jetsetter, you: put your magazine away, put on your shades (in case you weren't already wearing them), whip out your cell, and call whoever is coming to pick you up. Then, be cool. Everyone is in a hurry to get off the plane, but guess what. We're ALL getting off the plane. Let the poor moms and dads herd their little munchkins down the aisle, help the lady who keeps dropping stuff out of her four different carry-on bags (how did she get that many on the plane in the firt place?), and let the self-important business dudes go ahead of you, because it's fun to watch them try to get out in front of everyone and then shake their heads and sigh impatiently when they can't. When the path is clear enough to get through without stopping every two steps, you go. Wave g'bye to Roger, thank the pilot, and cross your fingers hoping that Chelsea and Luke really do end up together.

And of course, the best part of flying is getting to a NEW airport in a NEW place just hours after leaving someplace that was colder, darker, and less exciting than your warm, sunny destination! By now you've probably made friends with someone on the plane, so you exchange excited "well, here we are!" looks, part ways, and go find the awesome person you've come to visit so they can help you find your luggage at the baggage claim.

See, half the fun IS getting there! And I'll be there in just one week! Yay!