ketchup

I think I said almost a year ago when I started this blog that I'd post pictures of this, that, and the other...buuuut I haven't.

So now I'm going to make good on that promise I made to no one in particular.
It's picture time!

My Place

This is my first "grown-up" home. A place where I DON'T plaster the walls with pictures, article cut-outs, and random posters. A place where I have all the space to myself. Where I don't have to eat at my desk or use my bed for guest seating.

The kitchen, which I don't really use for a whole lot of actual cooking...mostly frozen pizzas, Lean Cuisines, and cookie baking.

The "dining room" is used for dining, but never are all four of these chairs filled at once...by people, anyway. This tends to become the catch-all for jackets, purses, and mail.

The living/office area. I spend a lot of time, most of it, in fact, in this part of the apartment.


My little bedroom, which is in pink and black. This poor room must be so confused; I sleep here during the day and get ready for work here every night. It's lit very dimly, which is nice...it's like a little cave. Rarrrr...


Believe it or not, this is my favorite room in the apartment. Why? Because I don't have to share it with anyone else! For the first time in my life I have my own bathroom. Yay!

Well that is the tour. Funny story--I actually started writing this yesterday after work and fell asleep in the middle of it! So I had to finish it this morning.

OK, next time...pictures of work? A tour of the station? We could do that.

Until later!
lis

chick picks

Well, the Office, 30 Rock, and Dorm Life have all wrapped up for the season, leaving a little void in my life for something to watch, predict, and be entertained by from week to week. So I've picked up a couple of very girly watching habits in the meantime!

First, there's the Bachelorette. I've never been a faithful watcher of this show before, but last year I got into the Bachelor (the Brad Womack season) for one reason and one reason only---a couple of the girls I work with watch the show and in order to be included in their conversations about it, I had to actually watch it too. It turned out to be quite a memorable season as the finale ended with not one but TWO big rejections and ZERO proposals. The final two girls, Jenny and DeAnna, seemed to be amazing people; Jenny a sweet, warm, fun-loving gal and DeAnna a time-tested hardship survivor who knew what she wanted in life. Brad told them both goodbye.

I was actually interested in watching this season of the Bachelorette because I knew it'd be one of these two girls, and I was intrigued to see how they'd pick one over the other to star in the show. Well, ironically enough, Jenny eliminated herself because she ended up getting engaged! Leaving DeAnna the chance to have 25 guys from all over the U.S. fight over her on national television.

I am not a huge fan of the idea of going on network TV to find the love of your life, but it's fun to watch other people do it. That being said, DeAnna is the perfect person for this task because she really seems to know exactly what she wants in life and in love, so maybe this won't be as daunting a task for her as it would be for others. It's also WAY fun to see the different dynamic of having guys competing versus girls.

So far we are two episodes in, and though there is one guy I liked who didn't make it past the premiere (the oyster farmer), after watching last night's episode I'm glad to report that all my favorites got a rose and are safe for another week! I especially like Richard the science teacher, Brian the high school football coach, Fred from Chicago, who has a Jason Bateman head of hair and sounds like a Blues Brothers Dan Aykroyd (which in my book equals adorable), Jason the single dad, Graham the hot Southern kid, and Jesse the goofy snowboarder. I also think it was fair of DeAnna to give obnoxious Twilley another chance simply because he made a huge effort to show her a quieter, more serious side of him. I'm glad Eric the presumptuous Greek went home, and though I'm sure Ryan the football player is a great guy, I was getting annoyed by him mentioning that he's still a virgin like...every time he spoke. I think it's tough for Christians because we aren't supposed to be ashamed of our beliefs, but if we act like this guy and rub them in people's faces, we look like toolboxes. So I'm glad he went home. All that being said, I'm loving the show!

The best part of the show so far, though was during the premiere when Jenny came back to help DeAnna weed out the initial batch of guys. The two girls are standing there in the backyard, one with 25 guys falling over her and the other with a HUGE rock on her finger, and Jenny says something to the effect of, "I think we're doing a lot better for ourselves." Pretty cool.

OK, the other thing I'm watching...and this is to fill the void left by the hilarious mockumentary web series Dorm Life...is Whatever Hollywood.com, a site made by three girls (two sisters and one sister-friend) who are all aspiring showbiz folks--a host/producer, a singer/songwriter, and an actress (she's the McCleary sis who gets married via nautical-themed vows at the beginning of Wedding Crashers!!! Watch it!) who all live in L.A. and are trying to make it, but meanwhile have launched this adorable site where they make funny little short videos. It reminds me of me and my two best gals from college OR me and my two sisters, so I am totally diggin' it with new videos every Wednesday.

OK, gotta hit the showers and grab a bite to eat before heading off to song-and-dance land!

Until later!

high school drama

I've been thinking about high school a lot lately.

Which is really weird, because I'm not one of those people who look back very often. I treasure memories of high school, college, and everything in between, before, and since. But I don't dwell regretfully on the "good old days" or anything. I'm not an Uncle Rico.

But lately it's all been coming back.

I think it's easy to see why...first, I just started rehearsals for a play called "High School Musical," which is obviously about high school. And so it's making me think back to that high school mentality--how you define yourself by what you do, how you dress, and who you hang out with. Which of course gets me thinking about who I was and what I did in high school.

Plus, a lot of the show's cast actually ARE in high school, or just graduated, so for the first time in a long time I'm hearing and seeing bits and pieces of that high school mentality...the things that are and seem so important, cool, or funny.

AND, this weekend was Graduation Weekend for all the area schools, which got me thinking about my high school graduation and just being a high school senior in general...what we were all thinking and doing and feeling.

THEN, I went home yesterday for a cookout at my mom and dad's, and they had a bunch of my dad's high school classmates over. They are a really neat group of people, and I had so much fun hearing their stories. My favorite story is one we ask my dad to tell us all the time, but I requested it yesterday thinking it would be entertaining with everyone telling it...and I was right. It's the story of how they stole their rival school's mascot, a stuffed wildcat, the day before their big rivalry basketball game. It is a GREAT story.

Well, I never did anything that crazy in high school, but it did get me thinking about some of my favorite times back at NHS. And the fact that the last time I did any theatre was in high school...has been bringing back lots of memories about high school drama. The department, not the actual "drama" drama. Ok, and the actual "drama" drama. In a fun way. It's weird to think back on the fights and rivalries and stuff and just how...SERIOUS everything was. When looking back, the reasons we had for getting upset just make me laugh. I don't know...I don't have anything profound to say about it. Just...that I had some great times in high school. And that even the bad memories are good memories, in a way, if that makes any sense. Aaaaaanyways....that's all I've got.

Until later! :)

lyrics i love

Ok, so you know how everyone puts lyrics in their AIM buddy profiles to express how they're feeling and stuff? Well, a lot of times I listen to a song and just love the lyrics, but I don't want to put them in my buddy profile or anything because I don't want people thinking, "Geez, what's wrong with her? Is she mad at someone? Is she depressed?" or something like that. Because it may not be how I'm feeling right NOW, it's just something that strikes a chord with me for one reason or another.

So here are some lyrics I love...no strings attached:

jane be jane
you're better that way
not when you're trying
imitating something you think you saw

jane be jane
and if sometimes that might
drive them away
let them stay there
you don't need them anyway

you're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
but that you're worried
should tell you that's not right

don't try to see yourself
the way that others do
it's no use

you're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
but that you're worried
should tell you that's not right

you've had it harder than anyone could know
so hard to let it go

but it's your life
and you can decorate it
as you like
beneath the paint and armour
in your eyes the truth still shines
jane be jane
~"Jane" by Ben Folds (I just love the message to a girl to be herself...I think a lot of us girls get this self-conscious urge to reinvent ourselves or wish we could be like someone else, so this is a good reminder not to do that! Thanks, Ben!)

i never loved nobody fully
always one foot on the ground
and by protecting my heart truly i got lost in the sounds
i hear in my mind all these voices
i hear in my mind all these words
i hear in my mind all this music
and it breaks my heart
and it breaks my heart
~"Fidelity" by Regina Spektor (something about this hits me, and I sometimes feel like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock...I am so in love with my ideas and dreams that I think I have more of a relationship with them than I do with people sometimes. I don't really know that this is what Regina was writing about, but that's how it works for me.)

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.
And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.
I'm sorry honey, but I'm passing up, now look this way.
Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you.
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,
They want and what they like it's easy if you do it right.
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!
~"Misery Business" by Paramore (haha...let's just say I can definitely relate to these lyrics! I don't like to hang on to anger, but listening to Paramore is like a fun anger outlet.)

So long honey, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't saying you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right.
~"Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan (aaaghhh, Bob!!! I love this song and have since a tender high school age. It holds different significance for me in different situations, but I just love this last verse, and how it expresses that feeling we sometimes have about people when we go our separate ways. What a great song writer.)

Didn't make forever.
We each got to go our seperate way,
And now we're standing here, helpless,
Looking for something to say.
We've been together a long time.
We never thought it would end.
We were always so close to each other;
You were always my friend.

And it's hard to say good-bye, my love.
Hard to see you cry, my love.
Hard to open up that door.
You're not sure what you're going for.
~"So Hard to Say Goodbye" from Dreamgirls (I wish I would've listened to this whole soundtrack before graduating from Purduettes, because I would've asked to sing this with my senior class. This pretty much wraps up the feeling of leaving that group--you know you're supposed to move on to bigger and better things, but it's tough to leave something so familiar. Tear!)

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
Breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me, it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under
And you and your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I say
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this

Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
~"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles (Gosh! What girl DOESN'T love this song? It says so many things, and I love it because I hate feeling obligated to do something, especially if it's something that should be spontaneous and heartfelt.)

Ok, so there you have it. The lyrics I love but won't put on my AIM profile so as not to risk having anyone read into them and ask me questions. :)

fabulous

Um...so forget about the haircut, because I can't get my hair cut for the next two months.

Because I'm Sharpay!!!!!!

me time

You'd think I'd get enough of it, between the 6 hours I spend alone in a newsroom at night and the 14-odd hours I spend alone at home during the day.

But being alone and having time to myself don't seem to be the same thing.

I think it started with a stressful week of work. There are a lot of changes going on at the station. There are ALWAYS changes. It's a TV station. Change is the norm, as I'm finding out more and more. But lately it's been like a mass exodus, to borrow the cliche. Lots of people are leaving, and it's like we can't get people filled into the open spots fast enough, so everyone ends up pulling a little extra weight, and some people end up pulling a LOT of extra weight, and then they get stressed out, and that makes other people worry, and then morale is affected. Plus we had elections, which is the kind of stress I thrive on but still am relieved when it's over. And for some reason, my patience seems to have gotten shorter.

I think it's because I need a vacation.

I applied for (and apparently was granted) some time off in August to go to the lake with Marla, which I'm very much looking forward to. But I think I need to take a day toward the end of this month just...off. Not to really do anything or go anywhere in particular...just not to work!

I do feel like I've gotten a second wind, as it were, when it comes to my job. I'm starting to work faster and catch more mistakes. I feel like for awhile I was getting burnt-out. But I think the prospect of some time off has re-energized me. Plus the weather is getting warmer, and that affects my mood and motivation as well.

But I still feel like I've been more stressed out lately; maybe because I'm starting to take more responsibility for my job, rather than just take the "I'm new at this" approach? I don't know. But I think it caught up with me, because I've had this mild but thoroughly obnoxious cold all week and I end up sleeping for like 12 hours a day. Meaning I don't pick up after myself or wash dishes, and so I've been living in absolute filth all week.

Today I thought, I really need to take care of this stuff so I can take care of myself. Because you know how it is; you don't feel good, so you let stuff go, and then you're so buried in the mess that you don't want to even start cleaning it up, but you can't really be comfortable or relaxed with all that mess all over the place. So I took care of some things.

I paid a bill that was due. I turned in my resigned lease. I picked up my bedroom, which had been a HUGE dump; clothes and hangers and shoes everywhere. I got everything in a drawer or in a closet. I made my bed. I folded and put away all my laundry, and I put all the dirty laundry in the laundry basket. I picked up the living room. I cleaned the bathroom.

I still have a Big Rock Candy Mountain's worth of dishes taking over my kitchen, but I'll tackle that tonight or maybe even tomorrow.

I made an appointment to get my hair cut tomorrow morning after work. My hair is so long I can put it in a ponytail. It's a short, stumpy little ponytail, but still. Way too long! I think it's been like 2 months since I last got it cut. My roots are showing so bad, my bangs have disappeared, and I know I've got split ends of the worst kind.

So I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow.

Also, I've been searching for a swimsuit. I haven't bought a new suit since the summer after my sophomore year of college. That is a LONG time to go without getting a new suit. The one I picked out in this catalogue is REALLY pretty. I worry a little about ordering stuff online because I can't try it on, but I've been everywhere in town and haven't found anything I like, so I figure the worst thing that happens is I have to ship this suit back if it doesn't fit.

Also, I think I'll go to the tanning bed tomorrow. I know, it's bad for you and it makes you smell weird, but it's been really rainy and gross here and I want a head-start on my tan for when the pool opens and my new swimsuit gets here! I'm a girl! Sue me!

I can't tell you how much more relaxed I feel when everything is neat and tidy around here! I think cleaning does me just as much good as sleeping when it comes to feeling relaxed and well-rested! Although a combination of the two is the ideal situation. Speaking of which, I haven't slept yet today.

Good night!

Was it Courtney's fault?

Tommy, I am reading your blog. Are you reading mine?

Tommy introduced me to this web series called "Dorm Life." And we are both so obsessed that we watch the new episodes like as soon as they are posted (after midnight Monday morning) and then sometimes we call each other and discuss, which I love.

This week's episode was super-crazy. One story line has been following Mike, who came to college with the typical high-school girlfriend back home. But like any other college kid, he starts forming friendships at school (in this case on his dorm floor) and grows apart from his hometown sweetheart. One of these new friends is Brittany, who is cool, pretty, and smart. She and Mike obviously have one of those underlying connections, so when Mike inevitably breaks up with his gf, all of us dedicated fans are expecting Mike to develop an interest in Brittany.

And Dorm Life has been dragging us along the last few episodes without moving that story forward. This week, though, everything seemed to happen. DannyB, the sheltered and reserved momma's boy, finally got the number of the "mystery hot girl" who he's been running into in the elevator all semester. To celebrate, he decides to drink for the first time. And of course, everyone else decides to drink too. So freshmen + alcohol + no RA present = out of control party with kids who don't know their limits. And at one point, a schwasted Mike asks Courtney, Brittany's slutty-but-endearing roommate, where Brittany is. And we all think, "Yes! It's going to happen!" But then Courtney, also schwasted, says she doesn't know and Mike tells her about two other floormates who have been hooking up.

"People are hooking up? Ok!" says Courtney, and grabs Mike's drunk face and kisses him, then gets up and says, "You're coming to my room!"

Mike takes a beat and shrugs, "Ok." And follows her.

What?!!!

Then we see Courtney doing one of those classic things all of us hated in the dorms--kicking out the roommate for alone time with another person. But Britney, who is drunk (everyone's drunk, ok?), is just like, you got it. IF ONLY SHE KNEW WHO WAS BEHIND THAT DOOR WITH COURTNEY!!!

Cut to the next morning, when Brittany knocks on her door to be let back into her room. And then Mike opens the door. And they both realize what happened. And Mike exits down the hallway.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

OK, so Tommy and I talk about this, and he's so mad at Courtney. But I'm mad at Mike too! And Tommy, in his blog, brings up an interesting point--is there a double-standard that some people subconsciously adhere to that places blame on the girl, in this case Courtney, for situations like this?

I can see how it would be easier to blame Courtney. We already know from watching previous episodes that Courtney is not to be admired for her moral code, so it's easier not to like her. Also, she is Brittany's roommate and lifelong friend, so she should have some sense of loyalty to Brittany. And, she initiated the hook-up, or in toddler mentality, "she started it."

BUT...did Courtney have any idea Brittany had any interest in Mike? To our knowledge as viewers, Brittany has never admitted to liking him.

Here's why I give Mike equal blame for ruining what Tommy has dubbed "the Perfect Plan" (and I like it so I'm going to use that from here on out): Mike DOES seem to have a more admirable moral code than Courtney, so I expect better behavior out of him than what he displayed. Also, Mike wasn't dragged to Courtney's room; he agreed and followed of his own accord. And, he was asking about Brittany, so she was obviously on his mind. But curiously, he was very willing to follow Courtney into her room, so he was probably doing something I call "thinking with his boy-parts" and that's something that really frusterates me about guys.

Also, I have a theory that Mike's primary goal was revenge on Emily, his ex-gf from back home; earlier in the episode he yelled at her (drunk) on the phone and then threw his phone into the wall and broke it. Not too long after that, he was asking for Brittany. His possible thought process: I want to move on. I want to move on in a way that will make Emily mad. I like Brittany. Where is she? Oh, this girl is hot and she wants to make out. I want to make out to get back at Emily. Ok."

I want to be clear--I don't place all the blame on Mike. But I do think he is equally to blame. And I will say that even if he had found Brittany, whatever he had wanted to do with her would have been for the wrong reasons and not what Brittany deserved, even if she had been ok with it at the moment (drunk). Basically, it wasn't time for them to get together, for whatever the reason, because they were too drunk.

I can see why it's easy in this situation to be mad at the girl, but I don't understand why it's so easy to let the guy off the hook. Just because he's a "good" guy and he made a mistake, whereas she's a girl who initiated things and is therefore a shameless temptress?

I think that's where we get this double-standard. A guy hits on a girl and it's like, "that girl was so stupid to fall for that." But a girl hits on a guy and it's like, "well she's hot and he's a guy; he can't help it."

YES HE CAN! Guys were given the capacity for self-control just like girls were. I don't know why we expect it to be easier for girls to turn down someone's advances. Guys may think with their boy-parts, but they still have brains, and there's never an excuse for defaulting to the organ driven solely by hormones and inborn instinct.

I think we have this mentality that guys would never turn down sex, and so we would never expect them to. I know that's not true for every guy, but in my experience, the way most guys talk, I would say I find it hard to believe that many of them would be capable victims of date-rape. If we applied that mentality to a girl, however, she'd be a slut.

I will never forget this episode of "Family Matters" where brother and sister Eddie and Laura are talking about sex. And Eddie is worried about his younger sister Laura having sex because "it's ok for guys, but it's not ok for girls." And then Laura gives him this look that clearly says what we're all thinking: if it's ok for guys to have sex but not for girls, then who are the guys having sex with?

Ok, I think that's all I have to say about that. Except one more thing--boys, don't think with your boy-parts, ok? Thanks.