rants of a small-time news producer

(Warning - I'm pretty upset.)

OK.

I hate when people spout their opinions with blatent disregard for anyone around them who may not agree with what they say.

Working at a TV station, especially during an election year, it could go without saying that politics naturally becomes a topic of conversation during the newscast. And my show's production crew happens to have quite a few people who are passionate and opinionated about what they believe politically. Most of them share similar beliefs. I tend to hold the opposite viewpoint of the majority in the control room, and this has been increasingly difficult for me to deal with. Here's why: I am also passionate and opinionated about what I believe, and I also like to argue for the sake of argument. But I am also responsible for choosing the content of the newscast. So what happens is, I voice my opinion in response to the numerous opinions so eagerly shared around me, because it feels wrong to just sit there and have to listen to someone else's remarks without getting to add your own. But then those people call me out for putting content in the news that supports or is related to my personal beliefs, even though 9 times out of 10 I add stories that have nothing to do with my point of view, my political alignment, or my own personal beliefs. Most of the time, my preferences are not at all represented in the news. But when they are, I get a hard time for it. I get called "bias." And that's something that I take to heart, because I am very passionate about balanced and fair news reporting and I take very seriously my responsibility to balance my shows.

Here's the hardest part--the person who gets me the most upset, who makes the most arbitrarlity judgemental comments, who says things that offend me, who doesn't want to hear or respect MY opinions and beliefs even though I have to listen to all of HIS, is also the person that at one time I felt like was my closest friend there. And in the past few months, I feel more and more like he isn't really my friend, because he doesn't respect the fact that I have different beliefs and that I am entitled to those beliefs. He speaks condescendingly and gives off the attitude that no intelligent person would dare disagree with him.

I have NO problem with people having and sharing opposing opinions. But I don't think you should EVER make someone feel stupid for having an opinion or a belief that is different than yours. Isn't that what it's all supposed to be about here? And especially if someone is your friend, shouldn't you be all the more willing to respect--even if you don't accept--that person's point of view?

What really stinks is that I could argue all day with this guy and it wouldn't matter because he is the kind of person who finishes an argument with "you're stupid." Which makes me realize that all the intelligent arguments in the world wouldn't make a difference because they still wouldn't make him RESPECT (again, not "agree with" or "accept," just "respect") my beliefs. And so I often just give up debating altogether because I know it's pointless and it's going to get me nowhere.

If I didn't value this person as a friend, I wouldn't care this much. But the fact that I consider him a friend is what makes this bother me a lot! I have been thinking for months now about talking to him about it, but I'm just afraid he would think I'm being really lame and then make fun of me for it, or get mad and defensive and then get everyone else to gang up against me and act all weird around me. But I guess if he does either of those things, he really ISN'T my friend after all, and then the problem will be solved anyway because then I won't have to care about what he says. It'll just make my job suck a little bit. Because one of the things I liked best was working with people I love.

Anyway, this has really been stressing me out for a long time now, but it all kind of collapsed in on me mentally and emotionally this morning. It just gets to me after awhile, because not only do I feel like I have to single-handedly defend my personal beliefs, but I also feel like I have to defend the content that I put in the show, as well as stand up for the news reporters when the production people rip them apart for "stupid" news and "stupid" video and "stupid" writing. Because it's easy to bash someone else's work when they aren't there to defend it themselves, and when you're not the one who has to go out and cover all kinds of tedious meetings and fundraisers and then put everything together in an understaffed department. It just sucks to have to be the only one sticking up for myself or for others...ALL the time. Every day. It's wearing me out.

A lot of times, people just don't know what they're talking about in general. Now I've moved on to our viewership. People call in asking why we only covered a story in the morning but not at noon or in the evening. Well, if they'd been watching any time during the ENTIRE DAY BEFORE, they'd realize we ran that story in every newscast--why do you think it was on this morning?!! Another guy calls in to say that police around here are racist because a white guy leaves his kid in the car while he's in the store and nothing happens, while a hispanic woman leaves her kid in a Walmart and there's a search warrant out for her. Well, if this guy watches the news more than once a month, he'd know that the woman has been ALL OVER the news because she ABANDONED her son...as in, never hoping to see him again!!! And then we have the folks on the opposite end of the spectrum who call in to tell me that they think there should be a law that bans the speech of foreign languages in public places, because "how do we know they're not saying something bad about us?" I don't know, maybe you should LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE AND EDUCATE YOURSELF!!! People call us to ask if they're going to get cancer from living by a wind farm. People call and tell me about how they saw Bigfoot while they were hunting. People call at 2 in the morning to ask me why a Mexican immigrant gets hired for a job while they are home unemployed. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP AND LOOK FOR A JOB IN THE MORNING INSTEAD OF STAYING UP ALL NIGHT COMPLAINING TO ME!!!

Apparently, I'm not allowed to have an opinion. I just have to listen to everyone else's, no matter how misinformed I think THEY are, and give everyone the equal opportunity to express themselves while they display a total lack of sensitivity for the fact that maybe someone else disagrees with them. But no, apparently to some people, their opinions are as good as fact, and I'm just supposed to accept that. And if I don't, then I'm stupid, or bias, or unpatriotic, or racist, or out of my mind.

I devoted most of my college academic career to studying various topics of media and political science. I guess that's why I'm the producer and can make intelligent, fair decisions about how to put together a show. I devoted my heart to Jesus, who blesses me every day. I guess that's the only reason I have any patience to deal with the stuff I get thrown at me at work every day. One of the things God wired into my personality is a huge capacity for acceptance. Accepting people and ideas that are different than me. It just frusterates me that it's so hard for other people to be accepting sometimes.

God, help me to accept the struggles that face me, too! And please give me the patience to do it! Amen!

It feels a lot better just getting all of this out. I'm sorry to anyone who actually read all the way through it; I'm sure it took a long time. But thanks for listening, if you did read any of this!

Whew. I feel better.