The Bachelor Week 4 (Drama, Drama, Drama!)

OK, this is gonna be as short as possible because it's been a long day and I need to get to sleep.

Singing Contest:
Winner - Molly
Style - Fast Food Funny

Other standout performances -
Sha-Nay-Nay's rap (in the style of Jason from last season, of course!)
Stephanie's old lady lounge act (I had to look away and turn down the volume) :/
Jillian's Coyote Ugly routine (is it just me or is she awesome no matter what?)
Lauren's "professional" Jewel-inspired ballad (and did you love when the soundtrack guys treated it with a little guitar strumming underneath in the final edit?!) She is mad that Jason didn't pick her because "the contest was supposed to be for the best song." Yeah, Jason, come on! It has nothing to do with whether it makes you feel special! You're such a freaking Paula!!! Don't you know this show is about REAL talent...er...wait...

Molly wins the one-on-one date, which is a fast food picnic and a backyard campout, after which Molly gets to do the Walk o' Shame back into the hen house. She was "nervous" about it, but let's be honest--if she really didn't want to make the impression that she spent the night with Jason, wouldn't she have changed back into her own clothes? Of course, I'm sure the producers didn't really give her the option anyway.

And have we noticed all the scarf and tank top ensembles in this show? Am I going to be expected to do that this summer?

Group Date: Playing Doctor
Jason takes the girls to the set of General Hospital where they get acting lessons from our favorite girl of the 21st century, Zenon!!! You guys remember that, right? Well, Zenon is also a soap actress and she gives the girls a few acting tips, and then the girls get to work on the set. Melissa makes gag faces every time she sees Jason screen-kiss another girl, Shannon thanks her lucky stalker stars that she's finally in an environment where Jason has to mandatory kiss, and Megan decides to ignore the "cut" call and suck all of Jason's teeth out of his mouth in one take. Naomi has fun offering to wipe the leaves on Jason's ficus tree (Mr. Deeds, anyone? Anyone?) and Lauren gets frusterated that her future husband is making out with all these other random chicks.

Hey, Lauren? Take another look at your GH script and get a grip on reality. He's just playing your husband in this scene, so let's not get carried away.

The wrap party afterwards is ever so Hollywood -- it's full of beautiful people, funky furniture, and tons. Of. Drama. The girls all take turns crying all over poor Jason. Expect for Lauren, who is a bit, shall we say, Lady MacBeth? She takes it upon herself to make up Jason's mind and chooses herself as winner of the date rose. When Naomi wins it instead, Lauren decides to pick this bone with Jason later.

Two-on-One Date: Dancing Queens
It's Pageant Patty and Disney Princess in the most awkward third-wheel date I've ever cringed through. These two ultra-polite, sweet, harmless ladies take rotations cutting in on each other's waltzes with Jason until he dizzily directs them to the dinner table. After chatting with Nikki about her ex-bf of 11 years and talking to Stephanie about how much she wants to kiss him, he sadly cuts Nikki from the finalists, which she handles with all the grace of a seasoned pageant contestant who just lost her local. Natalie could learn a few things from her! Stephanie and Jason twirl the rest of the night away.

Rose Ceremony
After awkward force-kissing with Shannon and getting scolded by Lauren, it's time for Jason to send two more girls home. With Molly, Naomi, and Stephanie already safe from date roses, there are only three remaining. The first goes to Melissa (yessss!) and the second goes to Jillian (yessss!!!). Then Jason pulls a DeAnna and breaks the rules of the game, refusing to give out the final rose because it's not fair for him to lead on any of the remaining girls.

Lauren is pissed because, once more, Jason did NOT follow the rules of the game. Whatever. She secretly breathes a sigh of relief because the producer has a friend who knows a guy whose roommate is the late-night janitor at a recording studio, so she's ready to start breaking into the biz with her sweet new connections. Sha-Nay-Nay announces she's gonna go home and make out with her dog, and Megan cries and creates a tear-stain spot on the front of her satin dress.

Next week, more twists in store as the girls travel to Seattle with Jason and, it looks like, Ty. My theory was that DeAnna would come back when Megan left, so we'll see.

OK, bedtime! Make sure to check out Lincee (linked on the right) and go to EW.com for Bachelor Host Chris Harrison's week-by-week behind the scenes blog! And don't forget to visit Madrosed on YouTube for their Beyond Reality recap!

(Links to all later. Too tired right now. Night night!)