eeeeeeagle!!!

I am officially a week away from vacation!!! I can't even believe it. This time next week I'll be in sunny Florida at my older sis's new house! My new swimsuit came in the mail, I've got my packing list made, I have a hair appointment this Friday, I got an awesome new carry-on bag that I have been reallllllly good about not using until the trip, and I've barely had time to read the Vanity Fair I picked up like...what, a month ago?...so I won't even need to buy any new magazines! Who am I kidding; yes I will. I always buy new magazines for any trip that includes a plane ride and a beach. It's just kind of one of those things I have to do to celebrate the occassion.

And, by the way, I love flying. Everything about it! I know many people (my dad included) do not get the same kick out of flying that I do. So let me describe it to you from my perspective.

First, there's the thrill of racing through the airport to make your flight. Or, if you DO have lots of time, you get to take in all the fun things that an airport has, like moving sidewalks, stores that sell pillows, and crazy folks.

Then you get to sit and wait (cue magazine) for your flight to board. Now, even if your flight decides to run late, this is still fun because it gives you a chance to scope out (over your magazine) all the people you will be sharing a plane with, and try to figure out who they are and why they're going wherever they're going.

Next and at long last comes the excitement of boarding the plane, then watching (and yes, I do watch as a form of entertainment) the flight attendants do their little show about emergency procedures. And I always make up stories about the flight attendants and what they're thinking (wouldn't that be a great reality show? Oh, the drama!). Sometimes I narrate for them in my head. Like, I imagine Chelsea the perky red-head is secretly in love with Luke, the blond guy, but he's dating Renee the long fingernails girl who is clearly so over this job and hates everyone on the plane except for her blond BF...no wait, she actually hates him too because she's planned to elope with the co-pilot as soon as we land. Then there's Grumpy Drink Cart Lady (that's her name) who gets special satisfaction of catching Mile High Club inductees in the act, and finally the tall, flamboyant Roger, who knows he rocks the emergency procedure demonstration like nobody's business and is def. gonna get that promotion next week.

Then there's -- dun dah dah dun -- TAKING OFF! Always a major highlight; I don't get scared, I don't go to sleep, I don't read. I just look out the window and enjoy the miracle of flight. I also love flying on a sunny day because then I get to wear sunglasses, which makes me feel supercool.

Now, my ears do pop terribly on airplanes. Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode from the pressure. And that part is not fun. I always wonder for a few minutes if the whole head exploding thing is physically possible. Then I do the thing where I plug my nose and blow, then I stuff six pieces of Orbit in my mouth and chew like an angry goat, and if that doesn't work, I just get the magazine back out and try to focus very hard on the comeback of the cork wedge slingback. Or if it gets too bad, I may ask Grumpy Drink Cart Lady to bring me an aspirin for my headache, or flag down Roger to ask him what he thinks about the "Who Wore It Better" page of my magazine. At any rate, the ear-popping problems will NOT ruin the flight.

Now, I love sitting by the window, because I love looking at what's below us, especially when it's nothing but clouds and you can see the plane's shadow. I just think that's unreal. And then the big finish...the landing! To me, this is just as exciting and suspenseful as watching an Olympic gymnast finish her balance beam routine. Will she stick the landing? I always sort of judge the landing and give it a score.

Upon landing, here is what you do, you savvy jetsetter, you: put your magazine away, put on your shades (in case you weren't already wearing them), whip out your cell, and call whoever is coming to pick you up. Then, be cool. Everyone is in a hurry to get off the plane, but guess what. We're ALL getting off the plane. Let the poor moms and dads herd their little munchkins down the aisle, help the lady who keeps dropping stuff out of her four different carry-on bags (how did she get that many on the plane in the firt place?), and let the self-important business dudes go ahead of you, because it's fun to watch them try to get out in front of everyone and then shake their heads and sigh impatiently when they can't. When the path is clear enough to get through without stopping every two steps, you go. Wave g'bye to Roger, thank the pilot, and cross your fingers hoping that Chelsea and Luke really do end up together.

And of course, the best part of flying is getting to a NEW airport in a NEW place just hours after leaving someplace that was colder, darker, and less exciting than your warm, sunny destination! By now you've probably made friends with someone on the plane, so you exchange excited "well, here we are!" looks, part ways, and go find the awesome person you've come to visit so they can help you find your luggage at the baggage claim.

See, half the fun IS getting there! And I'll be there in just one week! Yay!