engaged

"Do you have the wing?"
~Impressive Clergyman, The Princess Bride

I just found out via Facebook this week that two more of my friends are engaged! This super-sweet guy I know from high school...and it's really awesome that he popped the question. I'm very happy for him. And a girl I knew from various campus activities in college. And she is one of the nicest people I know, so of course I'm happy for her.

But are you kidding me?!

Who ISN'T engaged, or married? Oh, that's right. Me! And the thing is, I'm not in a hurry for that to happen; I'm enjoying this whole experience of living on my own, focusing on getting my career started, making new friends, and trying to do some growing up in preparation for being ready for whomever I end up marrying someday. It's not like I go around all day looking at my left hand and feeling like something is missing there. It's just that every time I find out about another friend getting engaged, married, or having a baby, I get this little pang in my heart--"I want that!" It's like when you see someone with a dog. I want a dog. But I don't think about it 24-7. I do think about it when I see someone with a dog. And I know that's something I want eventually, not right at this very moment, but hopefully within a matter of years.

It's just kind of funny; I'm one of the oldest in my graduating class, so I was the first one to have everything happen to me. I was always sort of leading the way with those little landmarks of life. But now it seems like I'm the one watching it happen to everyone else. Like everyone else is driving around in new cars and I'm still waiting to get my driver's license. It's like playing a board game, and you keep having to skip a turn while everyone else is getting way ahead and winning.

Anyway, this isn't something I worry about a ton. It's just like a little alarm goes off each time I find out someone else is moving on to that next spot on the board. If only I could roll a 2 or a 5!!! No, just kidding, I don't even know of any games that make you skip a turn until you roll a 2 or a 5. But sometimes it does feel that way. I know I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, be patient, be wise, pray about it, and enjoy my present circumstances, because if I try to blast past this part of my life I know I will regret it later.

Things are better now than they've ever been. I don't want to come off as anxious or discontented with where I am in life right now. I know that the things I'm experiencing right now are not too big or too small, but "just right," and I'm so thankful for that. Actually, I feel like I have a sense of clarity and self-awareness that I haven't had in a long time. I feel more and more like I know who I am, and what I'm about. I know when I started this blog I felt kind of lost in several aspects of my life. But now it just seems like things are lining up...like, rather than me trying to force all the pieces to fit, I'm just being true to myself and they are fitting where they are supposed to. And that gives me great hope in the future. I think great things are ahead!

But I swear, if I have to hear about one more engagement...

Just kiddin'.

Until later!
lis