Was it Courtney's fault?

Tommy, I am reading your blog. Are you reading mine?

Tommy introduced me to this web series called "Dorm Life." And we are both so obsessed that we watch the new episodes like as soon as they are posted (after midnight Monday morning) and then sometimes we call each other and discuss, which I love.

This week's episode was super-crazy. One story line has been following Mike, who came to college with the typical high-school girlfriend back home. But like any other college kid, he starts forming friendships at school (in this case on his dorm floor) and grows apart from his hometown sweetheart. One of these new friends is Brittany, who is cool, pretty, and smart. She and Mike obviously have one of those underlying connections, so when Mike inevitably breaks up with his gf, all of us dedicated fans are expecting Mike to develop an interest in Brittany.

And Dorm Life has been dragging us along the last few episodes without moving that story forward. This week, though, everything seemed to happen. DannyB, the sheltered and reserved momma's boy, finally got the number of the "mystery hot girl" who he's been running into in the elevator all semester. To celebrate, he decides to drink for the first time. And of course, everyone else decides to drink too. So freshmen + alcohol + no RA present = out of control party with kids who don't know their limits. And at one point, a schwasted Mike asks Courtney, Brittany's slutty-but-endearing roommate, where Brittany is. And we all think, "Yes! It's going to happen!" But then Courtney, also schwasted, says she doesn't know and Mike tells her about two other floormates who have been hooking up.

"People are hooking up? Ok!" says Courtney, and grabs Mike's drunk face and kisses him, then gets up and says, "You're coming to my room!"

Mike takes a beat and shrugs, "Ok." And follows her.

What?!!!

Then we see Courtney doing one of those classic things all of us hated in the dorms--kicking out the roommate for alone time with another person. But Britney, who is drunk (everyone's drunk, ok?), is just like, you got it. IF ONLY SHE KNEW WHO WAS BEHIND THAT DOOR WITH COURTNEY!!!

Cut to the next morning, when Brittany knocks on her door to be let back into her room. And then Mike opens the door. And they both realize what happened. And Mike exits down the hallway.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

OK, so Tommy and I talk about this, and he's so mad at Courtney. But I'm mad at Mike too! And Tommy, in his blog, brings up an interesting point--is there a double-standard that some people subconsciously adhere to that places blame on the girl, in this case Courtney, for situations like this?

I can see how it would be easier to blame Courtney. We already know from watching previous episodes that Courtney is not to be admired for her moral code, so it's easier not to like her. Also, she is Brittany's roommate and lifelong friend, so she should have some sense of loyalty to Brittany. And, she initiated the hook-up, or in toddler mentality, "she started it."

BUT...did Courtney have any idea Brittany had any interest in Mike? To our knowledge as viewers, Brittany has never admitted to liking him.

Here's why I give Mike equal blame for ruining what Tommy has dubbed "the Perfect Plan" (and I like it so I'm going to use that from here on out): Mike DOES seem to have a more admirable moral code than Courtney, so I expect better behavior out of him than what he displayed. Also, Mike wasn't dragged to Courtney's room; he agreed and followed of his own accord. And, he was asking about Brittany, so she was obviously on his mind. But curiously, he was very willing to follow Courtney into her room, so he was probably doing something I call "thinking with his boy-parts" and that's something that really frusterates me about guys.

Also, I have a theory that Mike's primary goal was revenge on Emily, his ex-gf from back home; earlier in the episode he yelled at her (drunk) on the phone and then threw his phone into the wall and broke it. Not too long after that, he was asking for Brittany. His possible thought process: I want to move on. I want to move on in a way that will make Emily mad. I like Brittany. Where is she? Oh, this girl is hot and she wants to make out. I want to make out to get back at Emily. Ok."

I want to be clear--I don't place all the blame on Mike. But I do think he is equally to blame. And I will say that even if he had found Brittany, whatever he had wanted to do with her would have been for the wrong reasons and not what Brittany deserved, even if she had been ok with it at the moment (drunk). Basically, it wasn't time for them to get together, for whatever the reason, because they were too drunk.

I can see why it's easy in this situation to be mad at the girl, but I don't understand why it's so easy to let the guy off the hook. Just because he's a "good" guy and he made a mistake, whereas she's a girl who initiated things and is therefore a shameless temptress?

I think that's where we get this double-standard. A guy hits on a girl and it's like, "that girl was so stupid to fall for that." But a girl hits on a guy and it's like, "well she's hot and he's a guy; he can't help it."

YES HE CAN! Guys were given the capacity for self-control just like girls were. I don't know why we expect it to be easier for girls to turn down someone's advances. Guys may think with their boy-parts, but they still have brains, and there's never an excuse for defaulting to the organ driven solely by hormones and inborn instinct.

I think we have this mentality that guys would never turn down sex, and so we would never expect them to. I know that's not true for every guy, but in my experience, the way most guys talk, I would say I find it hard to believe that many of them would be capable victims of date-rape. If we applied that mentality to a girl, however, she'd be a slut.

I will never forget this episode of "Family Matters" where brother and sister Eddie and Laura are talking about sex. And Eddie is worried about his younger sister Laura having sex because "it's ok for guys, but it's not ok for girls." And then Laura gives him this look that clearly says what we're all thinking: if it's ok for guys to have sex but not for girls, then who are the guys having sex with?

Ok, I think that's all I have to say about that. Except one more thing--boys, don't think with your boy-parts, ok? Thanks.