the heart of life

Oh, man, is this a rainy day for the books! I love thunderstorms, and this morning is Grade A as far as they are concerned. This is "unplug your laptop and lay on the couch under a blanket and blog while you watch the lightning through the window" weather! I love it!

I'll let my thoughts rumble and tumble out of my head and onto the screen like the thunder rolling outside...

I'm so excited about going to the Lake. As much as I had tried every year of my life not to take my time up there for granted, there was no way I could truly appreciate it until last summer when I didn't get to go for the first time in the almost-23 years of my life.

Going up there is the epitomy of what a vacation, a Sabbath, a refuge should be. I always feel closer to God when I'm up there. He is impossible to ignore in that place. First of all, there is no TV, no Internet, and no cell phone reception, so most of life's daily distractions are removed from your life while you're there. Plus, the Northwoods of Minnesota are at their finest, as that area is lightly inhabited and barely cultivated by people, leaving plenty of room for all of God's creation to be on its best display, from the clear lakes to the beautiful, thick forests of birches and pines, to the frequently spotted eagles, loons, deer, moose, and even bears living among our little cabins. And I think that atmosphere lends itself to a sense of clarity we all get from spending time at the lake. We all get time away from our problems and get a chance to weigh them in an environment that makes us question what is really necessary and what is not worth worrying about. We sit on the dock at night and look at the big glass bowl of sky over the lake and watch it fill with stars and Northern Lights, and we realize how small we are and how insignificant some of our problems are. Marla and I always laugh because she always seemed to end up going home and breaking up with her boyfriends after we went ot the lake back in high school...but the truth is, she just had time away to evaluate her relationships and decide whether or not they were really worth her time and energy.

I have felt an overwhelming sense of clarity increasing in my life in the past year and especially in the past six months or so, and I can only imagine how much clearer things will be when I get to the Lake. I always love that Bible passage that goes something like, "Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then we will see face to face..." I always equated that to what it will be like to get to Heaven, and I always thought it would be that feeling of being at the Lake times like infinity. You know, because right now I have this dim, smudgy look at my life and everything in it, but at the Lake it's so beautiful and awesome that it puts everything else into perspective so clearly. So I think Heaven will be like the Lake, only much, much better.

Anyway, there are a few John Mayer songs striking some major chords (no pun intended, seriously) with me lately. One, of course, is "Clarity" from his album "The Heavier Things" (that is a GREAT album, by the way). The song says a lot about how I'm feeling these days and especially how it feels at the Lake...

This morning, there's a calm I can't explain
Rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain...

By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on...

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When I won't and it won't cause it can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to

Besides the obvious theme of clarity, I just love how it's about trying to hang on to the moments as long as you can even though you know it's going to be over at some point. That's how it is at the Lake; you take in every sight and sound ans smell from the minute you start driving down the lane to the cabin and get your first glimpse at the Lake, to the last second you're driving away, looking behind you to keep the mailbox row in view as long as you can and knowing it will be another year or more until you can come back again.

And speaking of that sad trip home from the lake, this is another JM song that has been speaking to me on multiple levels, because it's about growing up, but one part is just totally the Lake:

Once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark...

Singing stop this train, I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

Firstly, that part about it feeling like it should and everyone being around and feeling safe. That's so what it's like; Mamaw and Papaw, sometimes aunts and uncles, and always a few very old, very good friends are around, and you're safe from the pressures of the life you put on hold while you went on vacation, and you drink in every moment of it. And then the part about crying while you drive away in the dark...that is SPOT ON what happens when you leave the Lake. It's always dark because it's early-early in the morning. And you always cry, you can't help it, because you don't want to leave this little paradise; you don't want to go back and face reality again. And you feel like that little red cabin is home...you're just going back to the world to get by until you can come home to the little cabin again. (Again, a lot like Heaven!) So anyway, that's pretty much that.

Finally, I am loving this song and I think a lot of the people who check in on my blog from time to time might like it too, because a lot of us are living in what is so far the hardest and most challenging time of our lives right now. And this song is just a great little anthem for those of us trying to stay afloat in the big world...so I'm gonna post the whole song and the video so you all can have a listen. This one's for you!

"The Heart Of Life"



I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good

Love!
Lis