Preface: For this post I ask you to welcome a guest writer -- me. At age 15. A few weeks ago I went home to help my mom clean out old stuff in my room. I brought back with me a stack of journals. I've journaled through most of my life (it's why I blog now), and these notebooks have held priceless value for me through the years. I grew up being really private about my feelings for some reason, and these journals are where I let all those feelings out. I was terrified someone else would read them and think I was stupid. Now, ten years later, I'm actually proud of a lot of what I wrote. So I'm publishing parts of them here...finally giving the girl who wouldn't tell anyone anything the opportunity to share her innermost thoughts with the rest of the world.
These are some entries from the journal I started just before my freshman year of high school... The following is about the upcoming Christmas dance; my first semi-formal dance ever. I will add that I had a list of guy friends in here that I was planning to ask. Rather than wait to be asked, I guess? I was a badass. I'll also add that I didn't even have crushes on any of these guys; I had already bought a dress so it was really just all about finding a date. These poor boys' names have been changed to Muppets to protect the innocent/engaged/married.)
About the Christmas Dance...here's the plan [later I wrote in notes about each]:
1. Burt (not going as of yet. Fun guy!)
2. Telly (he's not going. Already asked 2 girls but no.)
3. Gonzo (he likes me?)
4. Ernie (he'd be so much fun!) [later I changed the order, "switching" Ernie and Gonzo.]
5. Kermit (does he have a date???)
~~~
Some confusion, but the order has switched. I'll ask Burt Monday. If he says no, I'll ask Telly Tuesday/Wednesday. If Telly says no, I'll ask Ernie on Friday. If Ernie says no, I'll ask Gonzo on the next Wednesday. If Gonzo says no, I'll find out if Kermit has a date...if he doesn't, I'll ask him. If he says no...woah, that's 5 guys. I'll stop there and if those five guys fall through, I'll think of some more! (Do I sound desparate for a date? [Yes, 15-year-old Lisa, I think you do.] Well I'm not -- I just want to go with a good guy friend and have fun at the dance!!!)
~~~
I wonder if Ernie was thinking about asking me. We talk a lot and stuff -- he was saying how he was going to get hooked up with this girl from Kokomo, but today he was like, "Well I heard that she's really weird.." and he sounded doubtful. Then this afternoon at the end of school he stopped at my locker. He was staying after for wrestling -- and he was just kinda small talking and stuff...then he's like, "Well...I guess I better go." He followed some of the guys on their way to the lockers.
I just wonder if he was going to ask me??? This does not go anywhere, I'm not telling anyone [made a note later: "told Rachel"], I just think. If Ernie does want to ask me, I hope he does it really soon! Because what if I ask Burt and then he doesn't get to ask...aaagh. Maybe I should just ask Ernie first. He'd be so fun, he can dance...Every time the phone rings, I hope it's Ernie or Burt or Telly calling to ask me to go, God, let me go to the dance! Pleeeease!
~~~
Eeeeeeeeeeee!! :) Wishes do come true! Ernie asked me to go to the dance. The first thing I thought was, "Am I dreaming?" So anyway, life is sweet! It was great how (the way) he asked me -- just the way I'd have asked him -- like almost the same words! Ha! I'm getting so excited for the Christmas dance!!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Let's not take a trip to Negative Town...
So, first of all I want to apologize for being a little...scarce recently.
Second, I want to apologize because I feel like my last few posts have been a little negative. And I, as a rule, am not a Negative Nancy, so I feel bad for being like, "Here, everyone, I had a bad day and I want you to read about it. You're welcome."
Although sometimes that is what blogs are for, right? Right?
Anyway, I've been behind on life, in general, lately. Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
I just spend the last couple hours catching up and leaving love on some blogs I follow. Still not done... have a few more stops to make, but at least it's a start. This week, whether it's been work, job searching, or just tackling the neverending pile of dishes in my sink, I have just felt like I cannot get ahead, you know?
My dog Lola does this thing where she crawls under my couch and hides out under there. Sometimes I wish I were small and wiggly like her so I could just join her under there.
Luckily she is more than willing to compromise and join me ATOP the couch, and today we shared an amazing snugglefest/nap that lasted about 5 hours. Nice!
And also today, I found out that my girl Sara is a SITS superstar! Probably all of you read her blog already anyway, but if you haven't yet, check out her blog right now!
OK, finally a glimpse of what's coming up... I went home a few weekends ago and salvaged my much-prized and ever-important Journals from my room. They range from anywhere around elementary age through my freshman year of college. I haven't read them all yet. But I just finished the one from my freshman year of high school and OH MY GOSH. I am going to very soon write a post with pieces of this journal. It is priceless.
Now I realize if I were Taylor Swift, I'd just write an album based on these journal entries, but I wasn't blessed with the Swift skill set. So this upcoming post will probably be a little wordy. But I promise you, it will be entertaining.
So that's what's coming! Stay tuned! I'll be back soon!
Lis :)
Second, I want to apologize because I feel like my last few posts have been a little negative. And I, as a rule, am not a Negative Nancy, so I feel bad for being like, "Here, everyone, I had a bad day and I want you to read about it. You're welcome."
Although sometimes that is what blogs are for, right? Right?
Anyway, I've been behind on life, in general, lately. Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
I just spend the last couple hours catching up and leaving love on some blogs I follow. Still not done... have a few more stops to make, but at least it's a start. This week, whether it's been work, job searching, or just tackling the neverending pile of dishes in my sink, I have just felt like I cannot get ahead, you know?
My dog Lola does this thing where she crawls under my couch and hides out under there. Sometimes I wish I were small and wiggly like her so I could just join her under there.
Luckily she is more than willing to compromise and join me ATOP the couch, and today we shared an amazing snugglefest/nap that lasted about 5 hours. Nice!
And also today, I found out that my girl Sara is a SITS superstar! Probably all of you read her blog already anyway, but if you haven't yet, check out her blog right now!
OK, finally a glimpse of what's coming up... I went home a few weekends ago and salvaged my much-prized and ever-important Journals from my room. They range from anywhere around elementary age through my freshman year of college. I haven't read them all yet. But I just finished the one from my freshman year of high school and OH MY GOSH. I am going to very soon write a post with pieces of this journal. It is priceless.
Now I realize if I were Taylor Swift, I'd just write an album based on these journal entries, but I wasn't blessed with the Swift skill set. So this upcoming post will probably be a little wordy. But I promise you, it will be entertaining.
So that's what's coming! Stay tuned! I'll be back soon!
Lis :)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Your Job Hates You
Sometimes I think my job is trying to make me hate it just so I'll move on to a new one.
I think I keep making this sound worse than it is. It's just that lately all the crappy things about my job have been getting to me more than usual. And I hate that, because I'm usually the kind of person who can let all of that stuff roll off my back. I mean, I can put up with a LOT of crap. A lot of it.
It's days like this when I'm so glad to have a silly-looking dog that at this moment is doing somersaults in the kitchen. God bless that little fuzz butt.
Anyway, my mom sent me an email last night and there's this job posting at our sister station in Indy. The job sounds awesome; it's for a host of a local daily lifestyle program and it calls for someone who knows thier way around blogs, social media, etc. It sounds just about perfect...except that it's in Indiana.
And I'd really like to get out if I can.
So...can someone else have a job like that in a different state where I'd like to live? Please?
K, thanks!
I will say that besides my dog, this put me in a better mood today. In honor of Sesame Street's 40th birthday:
C-ya later!
Lis :)
I think I keep making this sound worse than it is. It's just that lately all the crappy things about my job have been getting to me more than usual. And I hate that, because I'm usually the kind of person who can let all of that stuff roll off my back. I mean, I can put up with a LOT of crap. A lot of it.
It's days like this when I'm so glad to have a silly-looking dog that at this moment is doing somersaults in the kitchen. God bless that little fuzz butt.
Anyway, my mom sent me an email last night and there's this job posting at our sister station in Indy. The job sounds awesome; it's for a host of a local daily lifestyle program and it calls for someone who knows thier way around blogs, social media, etc. It sounds just about perfect...except that it's in Indiana.
And I'd really like to get out if I can.
So...can someone else have a job like that in a different state where I'd like to live? Please?
K, thanks!
I will say that besides my dog, this put me in a better mood today. In honor of Sesame Street's 40th birthday:
C-ya later!
Lis :)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Jobs, Relationships, and You
Since I'm looking for a Cool New Job, I recently added "DailyCareerTips" to my Twitter feed. Yesterday one of the daily tips was:
"Job searching is like dating. You may know in the first five minutes or it may take a few dates to decide if it’s worth pursuing."
Good point there. After all, I can't help but feel like I'm sort of pimping myself out to these employers. Well, that got me thinking...if job searching is like dating, is having a job like a relationship?
I think so. And if me job were a boyfriend, here's how I think I would describe it:
I've had this job for two years. Actually, my two-year anniversary was just a few weeks ago, but I completely forgot.
When I started out with this job, it was all I could talk about. I felt super-cool, and even important. When people asked me about my job, my eyes lit up and I couldn't wait to start explaining what exactly my job was all about.
Over the first year, things were a little stressful at times because I was still figuring out how everything worked. But that was ok because each day was a new adventure, and even the bad days made for good stories later.
Then, right around my first-year anniversary, something weird happened. I started to worry about just how permanent this job was. But my job made me happy, and I knew I could see at least another year with this job, so I decided not to freak out and just to take things one day at a time.
Now, two years later, I would describe my job as "comfortable." I've found a few new things to do and to get excited about, but the truth is that I just don't see myself sticking with this job forever. It's just not the kind of job that makes me think about buying a house and settling down. In fact, I'd always pictured myself ending up with a nicer job, a cooler job, and (to be perfectly honest) a job that made a bigger paycheck.
Plus, sometimes my job isn't that nice. It keeps me up all night. Sometimes it limits my creativity and doesn't let me accomplish some of the things I'd like to do with my life. My job can be very discouraging and it can make me really mad. At times it turns me into a drama queen, sending me into fits of rage and making me say overdramatic things like, "YOU'RE SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME!!!!" or, "YOU'RE DEFLATING MY SOUL!!!!" I don't like acting that way, and it only comes out when I get frustrated about my job.
The problem is that I actually still have a lot of fun with my job. Sometimes I have little moments that just prove to me why I was meant for this job. There are things about my job that no one else really gets except for me, and I kind of like that. And I like all the people I've met through this job. I actually really hate to think about what it would mean to leave my job and not get to hang out with all of these great people anymore. And hey, it's pretty sweet when my job gets me free food or scores me tickets to a cool downtown event. And truthfully, sometimes I'm scared to leave this job just because I'm afraid there won't be another one out there for me.
Every job is hard work at some point, right? Is the novelty just wearing off, or is it really time to look for something new?
In my case, I know that there's an expiration date on this job and that there's nothing wrong with that. The scary part is leaving behind the things that I know, the things that are comfortable and familiar. The scary part is putting myself out there, worrying about making a good impression, and being willing to face rejection in pursuit of the Dream Job.
So I guess I better buy a new outfit, put on some make-up, and get ready to leave my phone number with a lot of strangers, because I'm back on the market and that's just the way things work!
"Job searching is like dating. You may know in the first five minutes or it may take a few dates to decide if it’s worth pursuing."
Good point there. After all, I can't help but feel like I'm sort of pimping myself out to these employers. Well, that got me thinking...if job searching is like dating, is having a job like a relationship?
I think so. And if me job were a boyfriend, here's how I think I would describe it:
I've had this job for two years. Actually, my two-year anniversary was just a few weeks ago, but I completely forgot.
When I started out with this job, it was all I could talk about. I felt super-cool, and even important. When people asked me about my job, my eyes lit up and I couldn't wait to start explaining what exactly my job was all about.
Over the first year, things were a little stressful at times because I was still figuring out how everything worked. But that was ok because each day was a new adventure, and even the bad days made for good stories later.
Then, right around my first-year anniversary, something weird happened. I started to worry about just how permanent this job was. But my job made me happy, and I knew I could see at least another year with this job, so I decided not to freak out and just to take things one day at a time.
Now, two years later, I would describe my job as "comfortable." I've found a few new things to do and to get excited about, but the truth is that I just don't see myself sticking with this job forever. It's just not the kind of job that makes me think about buying a house and settling down. In fact, I'd always pictured myself ending up with a nicer job, a cooler job, and (to be perfectly honest) a job that made a bigger paycheck.
Plus, sometimes my job isn't that nice. It keeps me up all night. Sometimes it limits my creativity and doesn't let me accomplish some of the things I'd like to do with my life. My job can be very discouraging and it can make me really mad. At times it turns me into a drama queen, sending me into fits of rage and making me say overdramatic things like, "YOU'RE SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME!!!!" or, "YOU'RE DEFLATING MY SOUL!!!!" I don't like acting that way, and it only comes out when I get frustrated about my job.
The problem is that I actually still have a lot of fun with my job. Sometimes I have little moments that just prove to me why I was meant for this job. There are things about my job that no one else really gets except for me, and I kind of like that. And I like all the people I've met through this job. I actually really hate to think about what it would mean to leave my job and not get to hang out with all of these great people anymore. And hey, it's pretty sweet when my job gets me free food or scores me tickets to a cool downtown event. And truthfully, sometimes I'm scared to leave this job just because I'm afraid there won't be another one out there for me.
Every job is hard work at some point, right? Is the novelty just wearing off, or is it really time to look for something new?
In my case, I know that there's an expiration date on this job and that there's nothing wrong with that. The scary part is leaving behind the things that I know, the things that are comfortable and familiar. The scary part is putting myself out there, worrying about making a good impression, and being willing to face rejection in pursuit of the Dream Job.
So I guess I better buy a new outfit, put on some make-up, and get ready to leave my phone number with a lot of strangers, because I'm back on the market and that's just the way things work!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
weird dreams
I just had to share this with someone...
Lucky you!
I had two incredibly crazy dreams today. One was that I was at this dinner event and the President was there and some lady (I think she was supposed to be a Senator) was yelling at him. And then he got up to give a welcoming speech for the dinner and he was trying not to cry. Then we all held hands and prayed like we do around my family's dinner table.
Whaaaat.
The other dream was that I had (apparently) adopted a baby. Yup. Like, an infant human. I was sitting at my computer trying to get it to drink out of a bottle and I was like, "Why did I do this? This thing is gonna turn into a kid and then an adult and I'm going to be stuck with it the rest of my life! Plus, how am I ever going to be able to get a date?!" Then when I woke up, I had to say out loud, "I do not have a baby," so I would know it was just a dream.
So, remind me not to have kids for a good long time based on my reaction to that dream. Yikes.
Lucky you!
I had two incredibly crazy dreams today. One was that I was at this dinner event and the President was there and some lady (I think she was supposed to be a Senator) was yelling at him. And then he got up to give a welcoming speech for the dinner and he was trying not to cry. Then we all held hands and prayed like we do around my family's dinner table.
Whaaaat.
The other dream was that I had (apparently) adopted a baby. Yup. Like, an infant human. I was sitting at my computer trying to get it to drink out of a bottle and I was like, "Why did I do this? This thing is gonna turn into a kid and then an adult and I'm going to be stuck with it the rest of my life! Plus, how am I ever going to be able to get a date?!" Then when I woke up, I had to say out loud, "I do not have a baby," so I would know it was just a dream.
So, remind me not to have kids for a good long time based on my reaction to that dream. Yikes.
Monday, October 19, 2009
my greatest weakness
Not that I've been offered any interviews yet, but I've been thinking about them as I've been searching for a new job. And you know how there are always those questions they ask that you hate? Like...
"Tell me about yourself."
This, to me, is like the most intimidating question. What do they want to know? How much do they want to know? What are the important things about me? What if I think the important things about me are not the things THEY think are important to know? How much of this is supposed to be personal information, and how much is supposed to be professional experience and aspirations?
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Now, if you have a five-year plan, you probably love this question. But I don't even have a five-month plan. Who knows what I'll be doing, where I'll be, or who I'll be with in five years? And what does that say about me? I like to think it says I'm willing to go anywhere and be put to use in the best possible way, without any restrictions. But someone else could see that as saying that I'm not committed to anything or that I don't have any ambition because I don't have any long-term goals set. I don't WANT to have a five-year plan. But if I don't, is that a dealbreaker for employers?
"What's your greatest weakness?"
Why do they even ask this one? It always puts you in this position where you try to think of something that sounds self-depreciating even though it's actually something good, like "I'm too nice" or "I get too invested in my work." Or in the words of Jenna from 30 Rock, a "back-door brag." And you know the interviewer has heard these answers about a zillion times and can see right through what you're doing. But isn't that what they're trying to get you to do? Because if you answered with something like, "Well, I am really sensitive to criticism. You're going to see me cry at least once if you hire me," or "I don't deal with distractions very well; you're going to have to lock my door and unplug my phone if you want me to get anything done," or "I don't do well with last-minute changes; I need an outlined plan at least a day in advance or I won't be able to function," would they hire us? What are they really looking for when they ask us this question -- our honest answer, or just the way we answer?
I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts/experiences/advice/funny stories about job interviews. Lord knows we've all been through them, so anything you have to share would be great! :)
"Tell me about yourself."
This, to me, is like the most intimidating question. What do they want to know? How much do they want to know? What are the important things about me? What if I think the important things about me are not the things THEY think are important to know? How much of this is supposed to be personal information, and how much is supposed to be professional experience and aspirations?
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Now, if you have a five-year plan, you probably love this question. But I don't even have a five-month plan. Who knows what I'll be doing, where I'll be, or who I'll be with in five years? And what does that say about me? I like to think it says I'm willing to go anywhere and be put to use in the best possible way, without any restrictions. But someone else could see that as saying that I'm not committed to anything or that I don't have any ambition because I don't have any long-term goals set. I don't WANT to have a five-year plan. But if I don't, is that a dealbreaker for employers?
"What's your greatest weakness?"
Why do they even ask this one? It always puts you in this position where you try to think of something that sounds self-depreciating even though it's actually something good, like "I'm too nice" or "I get too invested in my work." Or in the words of Jenna from 30 Rock, a "back-door brag." And you know the interviewer has heard these answers about a zillion times and can see right through what you're doing. But isn't that what they're trying to get you to do? Because if you answered with something like, "Well, I am really sensitive to criticism. You're going to see me cry at least once if you hire me," or "I don't deal with distractions very well; you're going to have to lock my door and unplug my phone if you want me to get anything done," or "I don't do well with last-minute changes; I need an outlined plan at least a day in advance or I won't be able to function," would they hire us? What are they really looking for when they ask us this question -- our honest answer, or just the way we answer?
I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts/experiences/advice/funny stories about job interviews. Lord knows we've all been through them, so anything you have to share would be great! :)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Autumn in La La Land
As long as I've lived in the Lafayette area, the arrival of fall -- and more specifically, October -- has excited me.
First of all, it's football season -- REAL football season, when the other Big Ten teams come to town. And even if we're losing (as we are this year), there's nothing like spending a Saturday at Ross Ade cheering on the Boilers. If you win, you want to hug everyone around you. And if you lose, well...there's plenty of beer back at the tailgate.
Secondly, this is the point of the year in Indiana when the weather actually starts to change. No more of this dilly-dallying between summer and autumn. No more wondering whether to wear shorts or jeans. Get out the scarves and hats and sweaters! The leaves are changing, falling, and crunching. The windows are open during the day. It's perfect sleeping weather. It's freaking fall.
And thirdly (and probably most importantly), it's Christmas show season.
Now, I've been out of college for like...over two years. So this doesn't even apply directly to my life anymore. But for four years, October meant the beginning of rehearsals for the spectacular Purdue Christmas Show. First was the unveiling meeting where we got to see for the first time what the set would look like and what songs were in the show. Right after that, rehearsals would start. And even though it meant no more free time between regular PMO rehearsals and classes and homework, it was the thing I loved best, and I soaked it up. I walked to class with the rehearsal music in my mp3 player, memorizing the arrangements to "O Holy Night" and "Sleigh Ride" as I passed the spookily decorated Greek houses and Halloween event sheet signs.
And even now, when October rolls around, I get that same urge to crunch across the leaf-strewn sidewalks, smelling Starbucks pumpkin lattes, and letting my headphones pump the sounds of Christmas into my brain.
Is that crazy? Yes. Is it cheesy? Yes. But also magical. And while I'm not the kind of person who starts putting up the tree before Thanksgiving or anything like that, I do enjoy my slightly brainwashed reaction to the change of seasons and the subsequent need for me to listen to a yuletide tune or two.
First of all, it's football season -- REAL football season, when the other Big Ten teams come to town. And even if we're losing (as we are this year), there's nothing like spending a Saturday at Ross Ade cheering on the Boilers. If you win, you want to hug everyone around you. And if you lose, well...there's plenty of beer back at the tailgate.
Secondly, this is the point of the year in Indiana when the weather actually starts to change. No more of this dilly-dallying between summer and autumn. No more wondering whether to wear shorts or jeans. Get out the scarves and hats and sweaters! The leaves are changing, falling, and crunching. The windows are open during the day. It's perfect sleeping weather. It's freaking fall.
And thirdly (and probably most importantly), it's Christmas show season.
Now, I've been out of college for like...over two years. So this doesn't even apply directly to my life anymore. But for four years, October meant the beginning of rehearsals for the spectacular Purdue Christmas Show. First was the unveiling meeting where we got to see for the first time what the set would look like and what songs were in the show. Right after that, rehearsals would start. And even though it meant no more free time between regular PMO rehearsals and classes and homework, it was the thing I loved best, and I soaked it up. I walked to class with the rehearsal music in my mp3 player, memorizing the arrangements to "O Holy Night" and "Sleigh Ride" as I passed the spookily decorated Greek houses and Halloween event sheet signs.
And even now, when October rolls around, I get that same urge to crunch across the leaf-strewn sidewalks, smelling Starbucks pumpkin lattes, and letting my headphones pump the sounds of Christmas into my brain.
Is that crazy? Yes. Is it cheesy? Yes. But also magical. And while I'm not the kind of person who starts putting up the tree before Thanksgiving or anything like that, I do enjoy my slightly brainwashed reaction to the change of seasons and the subsequent need for me to listen to a yuletide tune or two.
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